writer. screenwriter. learning person. loves being human.
Here are two videos from a lovely group called Improv Everywhere. And you know, if you just add a letter, it would be Improve Everywhere, and I think these folks have made a great start on that. I really do love human beings sometimes. The things we do just because it’s fun.
Enjoy your day.
Write-a-thon running total: 4,374 words out of 12,000, so nearly a thousand words since my last update. This is good and bad: good because they are good words, much more “true north” words. I am finding my way. Bad because I must produce more quickly the next three weeks to meet my goal, and this means that if I find out soon that these words aren’t as true north as I think they are, well, then I will have some long days trying to regroup and catch up (grin).
Although I understand the benefits of writing events like NaNoWriMo or Script Frenzy, it is really not my way to blow past sections of story that I know in my bones aren’t working just to meet a wordcount goal. In my experience, glaring wrong turns just lead to dead ends in the story. Wrong turns can be fixed, but not (at least for me) by “writing my way through them.” I actually just have to go back and find the better path. I admire and envy the writers who can simply switch gears from one scene to the next and “act as if” what came before has led them unerringly to the new place. But me, I find that jumping track that way just leads me to make new mistakes rather than rectifying old ones.
I’m enjoying it. And I’m finding it difficult, like all writers with other jobs, to make the brain switch back and forth between writing, editing, board-chairing… One of the essential eternal wrestles of this culture, no? One part of this brain-switching challenge that is hard to explain is that writing brings up all sorts of things from the tunnels within the writer; some of those things are fun to feel/imagine/live, and some of them are not. It might just be “a story,” but parts of it come from deep and sometimes unexpected places, with sometimes unexpected results. And it affects my moods, and sometimes colors my perception of the “real world” (whatever that is). I feel things as true that are not actually true for me right now, even though they may once have been (or will be again). I feel old fears and old losses and old confusions, and sometimes I don’t know where the fuck they come from until I’m on the other side of them and can see, Oh, it’s a writing thing.
Sometimes it’s damned hard to step away from the story world without bringing the story along. In fact, I think it’s mostly impossible. Learning to make the brain-switch anyway, in spite of it all, is a necessary skill, and I have no idea how to ‘teach” it because I’m still learning it myself. But I’m lucky to live with another writer and see this happening to someone else enough that I understand it’s an actual process, an actual feature of being an artist. Otherwise I might just think I was nuts.
Now I will go do something else and see if I can glide back into the rational world. Enjoy your day.
My brain is in some otherspace these days: the new novel, the current screenplay, the new screenplay, the front-burner editing project, Clarion West, the upcoming Lambda Literary Writers Retreat which Nicola is teaching, and where I will be doing a guest lecture one evening. I have read a variety of books and seen an unfortunately large number of bad movies — most recently New Moon, which at least got us through a couple hours of 4th of July noise, and The Book of Eli, which was so bad I couldn’t even finish it. And some good movies too, in particular I’ve Loved You So Long with Kristen Scott Thomas.
I am inside story. It’s nice in here, but it doesn’t really make for brilliant conversational exchanges with anyone except Nicola, who is inside so many of my stories as well as her own.
Isn’t this a very long way of saying Hello, so sorry I have nothing interesting to talk about today?
Maybe tomorrow (grin). Enjoy your day.
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Write-a-thon running total: 3,405 words out of 12,000. I find myself in the inevitable but frustrating phase where ideas are piling in from every which way, and they all seem either equally good (when I have written a particularly nice sentence) or equally terrible (when I realize that falling in love with every single idea means that the book would be an unfocused mess). But this is how it works for me, I know that, so I am soldiering on. By strict mathematical terms, I am behind on my goal by about 900 words, but ya know, I’m not that worried. Words are easy. There are lots of words in here. Finding the ones that belong together is the challenge.
I very much adore The New Yorker‘s Cursing Mommy, even if she is a man. And so on the Fourth of July — a day when I find myself in special sympathy with Cursing Mommy because I would like everyone who sets off fireworks (which are illegal in Seattle by the way) in residential neighborhoods (specifically mine and you bet your ass I’m territorial about it) to suddenly find themselves in a Cone of Explosive Noise That Makes Them Want To Fucking Die bang bang pow boom bang! — this column from the Cursing Mommy seems like the perfect gift to give to all of my beautiful readers who I am sure would never, never do such hideous things.
I feel better now.
Enjoy your Fourth (bang bang oh look I just lit my own house on fire because I’m a moron who thinks the law is written for other people! Oh, there goes my neighbor’s house! Oops! Boom!).
I have written before about my belief in the power of Truth and Reconciliation projects. It comes up towards the end of the long comment conversation on this post, which itself links back to two posts I did about jury duty. The three posts together are one of the most fascinating and most widely-read conversations on the blog. (And if you go read, be warned — I had a database upgrade glitch a while back that whacked out the formatting of old posts, so it might look a little weird…).
Anyway, regarding reconciliation — here is an unexpected example.
When we offer truth and apology without defense in the hope of reconciliation, we take an enormous risk. When we offer reconciliation to people who have harmed us, we take an enormous risk. But look what sometimes happens. Well done, well done to all of these people.
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Write-a-thon running total: 3,040 words out of 12,000. Things have taken a sudden new turn. I love the way that writing the story leads me to such unexpected places. One of the benefits of being more experienced than when I was younger is that I don’t need to hang onto an idea just because it’s the one I started with. I feel as though I can “follow my nose” down the trail of a story and know fairly quickly if it’s a path I want to take. I no longer need to have my early ideas be right. Ideas are easy. There are a million different ways to tell a story. What I am doing is finding the story, rather than forcing my earliest notions to become the story.
Back in my early days, writing was a very serious activity (picture me with Serious Face: I Am Writing). These days, writing is serious play. Picture me with How Cool Is That! Face. I am writing.
My name’s Lauren, and i just read Solitaire. It made me feel like… i don’t know. It’s ok that you’re alone, just let people you love in sometimes. I don’t think i’m articulating that properly, but I’ve been going through a depression and your book just made me feel good. So, thanks!
And thank you. I really appreciate that you took the time to let me know, and I’m very glad that the book helped in any way.
I think the notion of alone has become so scary in our culture that people don’t really think about what it means. But alone isn’t an on/off switch. Part of the reason I wrote Solitaire was to explore what alone means to me, because I think that we are all alone inside our own skin regardless of our love life or family dynamic or social circle. And yes, I think that’s okay. I think that the whole spectrum is necessary to have a full human experience. There are things that we can only learn, do, be with other people; and there are things we can only learn, do, be with ourselves.
I can be lonely with other people. I can be all by myself and feel like the world in my head and heart are the best possible place that any human could be at that moment. Being afraid makes me feel alone even if I’m surrounded by people who love me. Those people help me look at my fear from a place of relative safety, and help me understand it better sometimes. If I can’t face my fear, then people I love carry me until I can. But I still have to face it and overcome it on my own. I’m ultimately responsible for that. Every choice I make is mine, even the ones that work out badly. If that isn’t alone, I don’t know what is. It can be frightening and debilitating beyond belief. But it is also the source of so much power…. *shakes head*. This is one of the Big Questions, and I’m still working on it.
I do know that the power of being alone only ever really comes into its full strength when one who is able to be alone is also able to connect with others. Love matters. And the real power is not being able to get love, it’s being able to give it. Part of giving love is letting other people in. Other people don’t get inside us because they love us — they get inside us because we love them. Isn’t it a funny old world?
I hope you’re feeling better every day.
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If you’d like to start a conversation, please follow Lauren’s lead and use the Talk to Me link on the sidebar.
I know, I know, another video. But my fantasy boyfriend Johnny Depp has a new movie! I am so excited! You may now take a moment to imagine Nicola rolling her eyes and being patient…
… except I think she just might like this one too (*winks at sweetie through the internet*).
Write-a-thon running total: 2,660 words out of 12,000. This is where tracking wordcount gets a little depressing: because I find my way in by writing and revising, I go through phases where I make no apparent progress. But it’s interesting how different the story already is from those first 500 words. I’m already finding unexpected directions, ideas, resonances… and exploring them takes words and time, and much of it doesn’t work out right for the story I’m telling.
I don’t count that as a waste at all, but I know some writers who do. Shrug. To me, it’s part of the process, and it’s one reason that wordcount tracking makes me feel impatient. Sadly, I know of no objective way to measure “soundness of story” as a daily accomplishment. So I guess we’ll just stick with wordcount.
Wrestling with tense is part of this process. First person is these days by far the common voice of YA, and it’s absolutely right for this story. The choice of present or past tense is more problematic. Present tense is all the vogue and works wonderfully well in many storytelling situations. But it’s also quite limiting and can sometimes be unbearably precious. Past tense is the traditional storytelling tense for very good reasons, and is a much more flexible writing tool than present tense. So I am playing right now with tense to see where I want to land. It’s an exercise in nuance, and I find it challenging and interesting.
And as promised, we have met an Important Character, although not the one I was expecting to bring into the scene. Isn’t that just the way? *Throws up hands and goes off to have a shower*
Enjoy your day.
I really love this short documentary. It’s about writing a novel getting a degree building a marriage building yourself painting signs.
Once the video has started, I recommend double-clicking the image to bring the video into full screen mode. Or you can find it in full-screen mode directly at Vimeo.
Enjoy.
Write-a-thon running total: 2,381 words out of 12,000. Today was about making what was already on the page deeper, rather than moving into another scene. So much of beginning is setting the anchors in place for the important emotional arcs that will play out in the book. And so this deepening I’m doing will, I hope, bring more resonance to some of the key moments to come.
And tomorrow we will meet an Important Character! Someone who will change my protagonist’s life. I’m excited about it. I always like it when the players come together onstage.
Nicola and I met at the Clarion Writers Workshop 22 years ago today.
Our friend Mark, also a Clarion ’88 alum, has posted some of his workshop memories along with photos — one that shows a workshop session in progress, with me waving my hands and looking serious and so young. Another photo shows all of us dressed like idiots for the traditional Locus photo. Nicola, however, manages to make idiotic look powerful and fascinating instead, so there you go. 22 years later, she still fascinates me and protects me and empowers me to be the best that I can. We love each other.
Thanks to Mark for the memories. And thanks to Nicola for the years, this life together that I love.
Write-a-thon running total: 1,850 words out of 12,000. Still swapping words, deleting as many as I write for a net gain that looks small but actually represents a process of seeing that is essential for me at this stage… It’s as if I am circling, circling, handling the story from every angle, trying to find the way in that will open it up most deeply. I’m now at the point of making notes within the text as openings appear: for example, what I thought was a throwaway line is actually an opportunity to introduce one of the important characters, and so it needs to be its own scene. Tomorrow.
Some of these openings won’t lead anywhere productive. And then it’s more sentences off to word heaven, or wherever they go when I delete them. That’s writing. More work, more work, but the lovely thing about being 22 years on from Clarion is that I know how to do it.
The Newspaper Guy makes the free throw!
Write-a-thon running total: 1,671 words out of 12,000. A lot of deleting and new writing in the last two days. Still finding “the beginning,” which is more than just “the first scene.” I need to introduce the protagonist, give a sense of her immediate situation, start to build her world…. The initial scenes of a book are vital in this regard. What do I want the reader to know first? What are the important metaphors, and what moments will best establish them so that I can return to them throughout the story? Where’s the energy of the book coming from/going toward, and how do I plug the reader smoothly and deeply into that stream? Always an interesting part of the process.