Author: Kelley

Part 2 of the latest keyword search roundup (here’s Part 1).

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Kick his ask

I love this. It reminds me of many times in a room — a meeting, a class, a reading, whatever — when someone would ask a question that made me want to… Well, you get the idea.

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She threw herself at the strong-looking young woman and found herself lifted off the ground

I like to think this is someone’s memory of a book they read or a movie they saw many years ago, whose details have faded except for this central image. And now they are searching for it.

Those searches can take a long time. But sometimes the universe gives back. I had the absolute pleasure recently of finding a song from my youth, and it was such a treat after nearly 20 years of looking for it off and on to finally hear it again. It didn’t take me back; it took me deeper, which is the real power of memory.

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why do people have dreams that they can’t physically punch someone?

Because your brain is suppressing motor neurons to prevent your ape-ancestor self from actually moving in response to the dream. Because then you might fall out of the tree you are sleeping in and get eaten by a dinosaur, or something. Sometimes in the dream state, the brain-body conflict plays out as “I can’t move in my dream.” I have the no-punching dreams, as well as the dreams where I simply cannot run (I end up in a weird sort of lope-crawl mishmash). I don’t think it has any Deep Inner Psychological Meaning. Just another way the brain takes care of us.

Oops, I’m not supposed to be doing your homework. Go ask Wikipedia.

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why shouldn’t I be an asshole

Dude, do I really need to explain this to you? When you are an asshole, people do not like you. When people do not like you, you get less cooperation, companionship, sex, love, chocolate, wine, the list goes on. Your soul shrinks and you become a hollow shell filled with a howling wind that rages as your life becomes an eternal quest to persuade yourself and others that you really are that important, that meaningful, that worthy of respect or adulation or whatever other need has driven you to be an asshole in the first place. That’s why.

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kelley eskridge dislikes

Huh. Well, either you don’t want to piss me off (which I appreciate), or you really do and are simply looking for the most effective way (in which case, well, I can’t stop you, but is this really the best use of your life?).

But in the spirit of sharing information, I dislike: meanness. Thoughtlessness. Not giving other people conversational space. Rudeness. Power plays. Pomposity. Bitterness. Talking during the movie. Elevating opinion to the status of fact. Needing to always win.

How about you, what do you dislike?

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can you see space from here

Anytime you look at the sky, anytime you look into yourself. I used to think “the universe is within us” was hyperbole, but now I think it’s just the truth. Whatever’s out there is in us too, the vast and the strange and the brutal and the frighteningly beautiful.

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may you be

Whatever you wish.

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And this month’s personal favorite: i cuffy i am. I have no idea what it means, but I like the definite-ness of it. You go, Cuffy.

Wouldn’t that be a great name for 50’s cover band? In an alternate universe, there I am with a miniskirt and a microphone.

But in this universe, what we have is some of the keyword searches that brought people here in December and January. I feel a two-parter coming on, so more in the next post.
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kelley eskridge, kelly eskridge
This is the first time in quite a while that more people have come looking for me than looking for naked people. I’m delighted!

Although I suppose it’s possible some of them may be coming to look for my ex-sister-in-law, who was (for a few years) Kelly Eskridge. I have to say that sharing a name in the same family wasn’t my favorite thing, although I hope I bore it nobly or at least without being too much of a territorial pig. Until my folks (during this time) adopted a dog named Kelly, when I pretty much did the freak dance on the phone with my dad, and he graciously (and, no doubt, with some amusement) changed the dog’s name.
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real naked people, old naked people, doing filthy things naked with a stranger, emo pictures naked, harmful public nakedness
…and my personal new favorite, watch kell kell get naked

In a charming display of “endlessly inventive,” even the emo folks are getting their day in the sun.

Never mind about the kell kell.

But I’m still trying to figure out what would constitute harmful public nakedness. Who does it hurt?
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“some people think that they can learn better by themselves than with a teacher. other think that it is always better to have a teacher. which do you prefer? use specific reasons to develop your essay.”

And you came looking here? After all my table-thumping I won’t do your homework speeches? It’s the bazooka for you next time, kid, so be careful.

But the thing is, it’s an interesting question, so I have to comment even though I know I’m just adding my special little drop of water to the already-too-full bucket (which is the bucket of I’ll get all my original ideas off the internet, thanks very much!).

Not all professional teachers are good teachers. Some are mediocre, some are stupid, some are pigs. Do we learn better from these folks? I don’t think so. And conversely, some of the best teachers are not pros. There is so much in life we can learn only by doing, and often the doing involves other people somehow. Those people become our teachers, even if only for a little while (or in ways that we may not enjoy in the moment, but which are nonetheless instructive).

But I don’t think we learn best in a vacuum. I think we need to teach, and learn from, each other, strength to strength.
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we locked him outside naked

Now, that’s just mean, especially if there was weather going on.
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when i sit down i am 50

I interpret this as Doesn’t it all go by so fast? The short answer is Yes. The long answer is Too fucking right it does.

There are moments (like right this second) when I feel like a walking cliche — Oh, just wait, young person, you’ll see how quick the years go by when you’re my age! I remember adults saying this to me in hearty voices (anyone remember The Graduate? The “plastics” voice…) — but I also heard them say it to each other in what they must have thought were private moments, since the tone was so often genuinely confused, or bemused, or even a little frightened. And sometimes, simply accepting, acknowledging. But I don’t think I ever heard anyone talk about it as if they were thrilled that the river of their life was picking up speed. Because the river moves faster the closer it gets to the fall.
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where to find yourself blogged

You have to tell the internet your name or it doesn’t know what blogs to find you on…
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i believe power of hug

Me too.
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invisible sex — interesting.
invisible spider — totally creepy.
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captain and tennille singing midnight at the oasis

I loved “Midnight at the Oasis”, but the idea of C & T singing it gives me the willies.

Remember “Love Will Keep Us Together”? So here’s a wacky thing. I distinctly remember loving this song when I was about 10 or 11 — except that it didn’t come out until I was 14 or 15. Sheesh. Memory is a slippery storyteller. When I follow the trail back, I can see that yes, I was older — I remember hearing the song on the radio constantly when I spent time with my dad in Daytona Beach one summer (*waves at father through the internet*). And so of course I wasn’t 10. Maybe I just felt really immature — that certainly was a feature of my adolescence, the belief that everyone was growing up (or already there) except me.
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dangerous space (collection 2007) contents

How nice of you to be interested! The contents are:

“Strings”
“And Salome Danced”
“City Life” (originally published as “The Hum of Human Cities”)
“Eye of the Storm”
“Somewhere Down the Diamondback Road”
“Dangerous Space”
“Alien Jane”

(linked stories are available free on this site)
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More in the next post.

Enjoy your Saturday!