The imperfect enough
2 April 2013
Brené Brown is a researcher storyteller who — despite fighting mightily against it — found her way to the power of vulnerability. She began by researching shame, and ended with realizations about connection and worthiness and imperfection.
What [people who felt worthy of love and connection] had in common was a sense of courage. And I want to separate courage and bravery for you for a minute. Courage, the original definition of courage,when it first came into the English language — it’s from the Latin word cor, meaning heart — and the original definition was to tell the story of who you are with your whole heart. And so these folks had, very simply, the courage to be imperfect… they were willing to let go of who they thought they should be in order to be who they were, which you absolutely have to do that for connection.
[Children are] hardwired for struggle when they get here… our job is not to say, “Look at her, she’s perfect. My job is just to keep her perfect — make sure she makes the tennis team by fifth grade and Yale by seventh grade.” Our job is to look and say, “You know what? You’re imperfect, and you’re wired for struggle, but you are worthy of love and belonging.” That’s our job. Show me a generation of kids raised like that, and we’ll end the problems I think that we see today.
So, maybe you’re not a kid reading this, or maybe you are still growing up (god knows I am), but never mind how old we are right now. One of these days we can talk about the difference between struggle and work, or the nuclear toxin of shame, or the Darwinian nature of childhood. But today let’s just be imperfect, and wired for struggle, and worthy of love and belonging. Today that is enough.
Enjoy your day.