johnny depp – Kelley Eskridge

Listen. That sigh you hear? That combination of fond amusement and Oh, Chist, not another one already? That is Nicola, who has just been told that my fantasy boyfriend Johnny Depp has a new movie coming out in December.

The Tourist is a remake of a 2005 recent French film, and from the trailer I’m already banging my head that the female character is a Mysterious Woman Of Mystifying Mystery with an English accent that I didn’t believe in Tomb Raider and don’t believe now. I could wish for something a little deeper, and if wishes were fishes we’d all be feeding Copper River salmon to the neighborhood cats, you know? I console myself that the movie has Johnny Depp and Paul Bettany and Rufus Sewell and it’s shiny! What can I say? Some days that’s enough.

Enjoy your day.

I am out for much of the day on family business, which gives Nicola plenty of time to roll her eyes and mutter. or laugh out loud, or whatever she would like (*kiss to sweetie through the internet*) over the fact that, yes, it’s that time of year. Another Johnny Depp movie is coming to town.

I used to worry that it was sad and pathetic to be a middle-aged person with a celebrity crush, but what the fuck. It’s lovely to have an art-crush and a mad-sex-crush all rolled up into one: that doesn’t come around very often, and I’m just going to enjoy it. The day I’m too old to get all het up (ooh, an orientation pun!) over Johnny Depp will be a Very Sad Day indeed.

And so I am really looking forward to Public Enemies. I enjoy Michael Mann’s work, I like Christian Bale, there will be car chases and shootouts and swanky clothes, and that particular Anglo-American mythic bad-boy hero-criminal vibe. And popcorn! I can’t wait.