Sunshine

Why do you love Nicola?

anonymous


Well. I have been holding this question for ages (with apologies to anonymous), because it’s really a moving target. Some days it seems like the only proper answer is ‘œDuh.’ Other days it’s the entire 18 years’ list of ups and downs and sideways that we have been together.

The answer you are getting today is not about how much I admire her fine mind and body and spirit, how much fun we have, the values that we share, the hard times we’ve overcome. Today’s answer is that I love Nicola because she gives me, every day, the chance and the choice to be myself, even if I decide sometimes to be the smallest self instead of the biggest.

Nobody makes me brave or strong, or any of the other hard things in the world that I aspire to. But Nicola makes me want to be those things as much as I can. I try harder because of her. And so I am more of myself, more of the things I want to be. And when I’m not brave and strong and true and fantabulous, she loves me anyway.

The thing is, love isn’t really about the other person. It’s about ourselves. It’s about how we feel, who we are, in the sunshine of the other.

One thought on “Sunshine”

  1. Once, a lover asked me: “Why do you keep coming back to me?” I told her, “Because I like who I am around you.” Unfortunately, she took it as me being terribly narcissistic (which I can be). This post better conveys what I failed to express then.

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