All the world that I can see from my office is covered in snow, framed by icicles on the overhang outside the window. It’s cold, it’s quiet and still, the sky is half-blue and half-more-snow.
Today I am many things, but mostly I am lucky. I have food in the house and a house to keep the food in. I’m warm in here. I have health insurance that just paid for half the medication I’m taking because I’m still coughing 6 weeks after being sick. I have a new business that I suspect will struggle for a long time before it takes off, but I have (perhaps absurd) faith in the integrity and goodness of it, and I believe that it will reach people and help them. I am worried about finding paid work in the meantime.
There’s a lot going on.
So what am I doing? I am working on my screenplay all day today in a grand gesture of thank you to the beautiful day and fuck you to the people who say that female-driven movies can’t get greenlit, to the search for paid work, and the many frightening things in the wider world. Because writing this movie makes me most happy, and today being most happy is more important than being stressed or realistic or responsible. I am having enormous fun. And I am listening to this.
My advice is to turn it up loud.
Click here if you can’t access the player.
Good for you. I like that gesture.
You’re still coughing?? F–k!
And there’s That “War” album again. Here’s where they got me:
But where can you go
To leave yourself behind
Alone in the spotlight
Of this, your own tragedy
Ok, loud.
Enjoy the rest of your beautiful snowy day up there.
You know, if I can say fuck here, you can too (laughing).
Still coughing. Doctor thinks it’s either bronchial inflammation from the virus (the better choice) or walking pneumonia (not the better choice). Have non-antibiotic meds to try first, we’ll see where I am next week.
Definitely loud.
Ok, well, that fucking! 🙂 sucks! Damn it.
I really admire you. Now I hope someone admires you enough to give you paid work. You seem to have taken care of damn near everything else. Hang in there.
Thanks, Barbara, this will help me on Monday when I go back to being at least half-time responsible. I appreciate all the goodwill — mine to you as well.
Oh, no… still coughing. I’m glad you used Sunday to have fun with your screenplay.
Here’s more goodwill and warmth from down South.
About female-driven movies: Kathryn Bigelow, and so many others. One good thing about the principal at the old film school is that he was a feminist, sort of. He used to say that at least 90% of his best students were women—the other 10% was probably del Toro. Unfortunately, there’s still so much bias in that—and pretty much every other—industry. I understand how draining it is, just trying to do the work and not be discouraged by all the naysayers. I tried to keep at least an even balance between men and women in the staff; my director and DP were often women, and one of my gaffers. Hopefully, doors will continue to be axed down.
Ditto Barbara, hang in there. I know you’ll keep playing and dancing and working in what you love. And we’ll stick around.