In which the screenwriter shares her vision

I have this character in my head. She keeps appearing places: on trains, in the city, on the highway. I see her out there. She is heroic, but not like any hero we’ve ever seen.
— Debra Winger in this interview with The Guardian

I am proud of the women in the screenplay I have in development. They are as real as I can make them. They pass the Bechdel test. I love them, as I love all the characters of my fiction — and thank goodness, because I would hate to spend this much time with people I don’t like, real or not.

And they are young women. That’s what’s required for this story, and fair enough.

So here’s what I hope — that writing them well helps get the movie made, and helps me establish myself as a professional screenwriter. So that I can write the literally dozens of stories I have in my head for women in their 40’s, 50’s, 60’s… stories of adventure, bravery, sex, love, action, suspense, big feelings, small everyday moments, across the spectrum of human relationships. Not sweet old lady stories; not stories where women play someone’s mommy or grandmommy in the background. We get enough of those. The stories in my head are muscular stories of intriguing, compelling people who come in grownup female packages and do things that apparently will startle the hell out of the men who run Hollywood.

I want to do it for Debra Winger.

And Meryl Streep.

And Emma Thompson.

For every woman who has ever had to choose between playing bullshit roles or playing none at all.

For every woman over 40 who loves the movies but wonders why no one who looks like her is up on screen kicking ass and taking names, living large, being sexy, being frightened of something besides old age or loneliness, and maybe, just maybe, being the hero every once in a while.

That’s what I’m going to write. And I can’t wait.

Song of my Sunday

All the world that I can see from my office is covered in snow, framed by icicles on the overhang outside the window. It’s cold, it’s quiet and still, the sky is half-blue and half-more-snow.

Today I am many things, but mostly I am lucky. I have food in the house and a house to keep the food in. I’m warm in here. I have health insurance that just paid for half the medication I’m taking because I’m still coughing 6 weeks after being sick. I have a new business that I suspect will struggle for a long time before it takes off, but I have (perhaps absurd) faith in the integrity and goodness of it, and I believe that it will reach people and help them. I am worried about finding paid work in the meantime.

There’s a lot going on.

So what am I doing? I am working on my screenplay all day today in a grand gesture of thank you to the beautiful day and fuck you to the people who say that female-driven movies can’t get greenlit, to the search for paid work, and the many frightening things in the wider world. Because writing this movie makes me most happy, and today being most happy is more important than being stressed or realistic or responsible. I am having enormous fun. And I am listening to this.

My advice is to turn it up loud.

Click here if you can’t access the player.

Big screen women

The screenwriting life continues to have a storybook-quality wackiness that fascinates, frustrates, amuses, and occasionally depresses me, although really it’s mostly fun as long as I stop attaching to the outcome. I am learning huge lessons in loving what I’m doing in the moment, because tomorrow may never come…

But that’s a story for another time. I find I am reluctant to talk about my particular experience of this screenplay while it’s still ongoing. Not out of superstition, but because it’s too close to me. I wrote a while back about boundaries: well, this is private for me right now.

But I can tell you that there a couple of great roles for women in the script, and that I’m intensely interested in and frustrated by the absolute terror that studios have of movies with women. Who knew girls were so scary? Oh, sorry, girls aren’t scary, they just can’t open movies!

You may imagine my response to this (grin). And after you’ve had some fun with that, go read what Emma Thompson and Liane Balaban (who appear together in the upcoming film Last Chance Harvey) have to say about it.

And can I just say that Emma Thompson rocks?

Enjoy your Saturday.

Art and money

I used to spend time struggling with the idea of “fairness.”

Do you, ever? Do you think about whether people or situations or the universe itself are fair to you? Or to other people? I’m not even sure I know what fair means anymore… but I’m pretty sure that it’s meaningless to talk about it in any context beyond that of specific personal interaction.

I think it’s fine to tell a friend I think they are being “unfair” — they aren’t taking something into account that they should in this moment, or they are judging me without empathy, or…. well, there are many ways that people who are vulnerable to each other can be unfair, you know? Perhaps fairness and vulnerability are linked in this way… I don’t know, I’ll have to think more about that. But I do know that part of my definition of closeness is that there is space for me to speak and be heard.

But, you know, Life and The Universe and the Random Strangers Of The World do not have to listen to me. It’s not a rule. And so how can I possibly expect fairness from them?

It’s nice to think that things happen for a reason — good things and bad things — because it makes it seem possible to control them if we only understand the cause. It makes it seem that we can interject an element of fairness into these universal transactions. But, you know, it’s not “fair” that Nicola has MS, and it’s not unfair either. MS is in the world, and people get it. It’s not fair that our beloved cat died this summer and broke my fucking heart and that I still cry so hard I get nosebleeds, but it’s not unfair either. All living things on the planet die. It’s not fair that I have specific opportunities that other people don’t, and it’s not unfair either. It’s the result of a million choices that I made, and that some of those Random Strangers made, that ended up bringing us together in ways that changed our lives. That’s what happens. (I recognize that many of my opportunities are a result of social injustice to other people — but I’m not sure I wish to apply the word “unfair” to that anymore. Wrong? Yes, that’s a good word. But this idea of fairness is something else.)

And in the midst of thinking about fairness, today I read this post on Seth Godin’s blog: Maybe you can’t make money doing what you love.

I’ve long felt this way. I knew I would not make a living as a writer at the beginning, and that’s why I was so happy to find myself at Wizards of the Coast, doing work that I could really get behind, that changed me in ways I will carry with me for the rest of my life. That’s where I made the money that let me stop working full-time and focus on my art. And you know, it never occurred to me to think it was unfair that I had to do that. Why should I expect people to support me — to pay for my life on the planet to whatever standard I set for myself — just because I want to express myself? Just because I want to make art?

Don’t get me wrong, I think it’s great that people make a living as artists, and I would like to do it myself — but I sure as hell don’t expect it, and I don’t think it’s a direct measure of the value of my art if I do, or if I don’t. I think it’s just what happens.

And the interesting thing to me is that, like Seth Godin, I have lots of negative capability around this stuff. Screenwriting fascinates and compels me because it is both art and work, in all the ways that I understand the latter — creative, collaborative, communication-dependent, and focused on results that do not necessarily reflect only my needs. The opportunity to do it was one of those million-choices confluences. And it gave me the enormous gift of rediscovering pure passion for my writing, and the equally great gift to walk away from standards of commercial success that I could not live up to.

But you know what? If it works out, I’ll have found a way to make money through art.

I used to spend time struggling with the idea of fairness. Now, I’d rather spend time making choices. And seeing what happens.

Like a writer after all

Robin and I are having an interesting conversation over in “Multitudes,” and she asked:

What is it like to be you today?

Well, here’s what it is. I have been nose-to-the-grindstone-focused on my new business project for several weeks now, and it’s starting to get to me. I will tell you all about it very shortly. It’s a cool project, cool enough that I’m a little worried it will change my life in ways that I’m not sure I want or am ready for. Or maybe it won’t. It’s hard to know. So it’s exciting…

…but it’s not creative. Or at least not the particular kind of creative I need to keep the channel open inside me, that passage to the deep places of myself. When I do the kind of work I’m involved in right now, I become microscopically focused on the details of what must be done. I line them up and knock them down. And when I pull my focus back, I don’t find myself tired-but-fizzing with work well done, bright with some new life lived for those hours. I just find myself tired.

And so last night I ate an entire 11″ South Philly with spinach after-bake pizza all by myself, drank a little too much beer, didn’t sleep that well, got up thinking I would get back to work on the project…

… and found myself doing this instead.

[scrippet]

FADE IN…

Onto a small-town commercial street at dusk… as a pirate runs shrieking from a hardware store, chased by a princess with a sword.

GO WIDER: Other kids in costumes. Parents chatting. College youth sauntering into bars. Halloween is in full swing in a small college town.

ENGINES GROWL as two motorcycles turn onto the street. Both RIDERS wear battered leathers and full-face helmets.

The locals stare. RIDER #1 stares back, invisible through the black-glass visor. RIDER #2 gives the little princess a wave.

They park outside a hotel next to a bar, Rider #1 with visible reluctance. Engines OFF.

Rider #1 begins to pull off the helmet…

EXT. HOTEL – DAY (DUSK) – CONTINUOUS

Several DRUNK COLLEGE STUDENTS have paused outside the bar. One girl gives the bikes — and the Riders — an appreciative look. Her boyfriend tugs her against him possessively as Rider #1’s helmet comes off —

— and reveals a woman. RAE DONOVAN, 40’s, a little detached, a lot tough. Always on alert.

The college girl looks confused. The boys react predictably to a woman in leather. Rae gives them a dismissive stare.

Behind Rae, Rider #2 removes the helmet. She is STELLA DONOVAN, early to mid-60’s. No Botox, no surgery, just strong and sexy straight out of the box.

Stella gives Rae an impatient look. Rae grabs a bag from the back of her bike and stalks grimly toward the hotel entrance. As Stella follows —

DRUNK COLLEGE BOY
Yow! Bring it, granny!

STELLA
I’m not your fuckin’ granny.

RAE
(doesn’t look back)
Mom.

The college students jostle each other as Rae and Stella enter the hotel.
[/scrippet]

What’s it like to be me today? A little bit more like being a writer. And that feels good. And it turns out that western civilization didn’t end just because I took my eye off my other project for a couple of hours.

Thanks for asking!

Formatted using the extremely cool Scrippets plugin.

Crazy talk about writing

A couple of weeks ago I was ranting about the economics of traditional publishing. I mentioned a new day coming in which at least one major publisher is playing with a new model. And now along comes a writer named Seth Harwood whose path to publishing is much more 21st-century (You can hear a podcast or read a transcription of the interview at this link, it’s all on the same page at Booksquare).

I don’t know anything about Harwood or his work. What interests me about his experience to date is how much of a direct challenge it is to the traditional publishing model, and to cultural notions of what constitutes “success.” Harwood starts in one of the “right” literary places — the Iowa Writer’s Workshop — and ends up serializing novels in podcasts, novels that aren’t “finished” enough for the agents he sends them to, but that people out there hungry for story sure seem to enjoy well enough. And hey, now that there’s an audience, there’s also interest from a Real Live Publisher. Harwood’s book will be out next summer.

And was that the goal all along? Is the wacky interweb only a more circuitous path to the hallowed temple of traditional publishing? Of course it’ll work that way for some people, for some books. And the trade publishers will get all excited and make corporate decisions to circle the wagons around the rabbit hole of the internet, waiting for something interesting to pop out… and perhaps the publishers will be thinking, okey dokey, here’s the new model — instead of getting stuff from agents, we’ll get it from these here rabbit holes.

But somehow I don’t think it’s going to be that simple.

There are many lessons for new writers and established writers in Seth Harwood’s experience. One is the lesson that audience comes before money. If Harwood had been waiting to “make money” from an advance before he shared his work with people, he’d still be waiting, and you certainly wouldn’t be hearing about him from me today.

One mistake that many new writers make is to assume that the publisher takes care of finding the audience for one’s book. After all, isn’t that what publicity is for? Well, it’s a sweet thought, but no. Publicity for most books is an automated process: a copy of the book and press release is mailed to a well-established list of reviewers with a hopefully nice cover letter from a publicist (although I have seen some letters that would make you just want to put a fork in your eye if it were your book they were supposedly “promoting”). And that’s it. No follow-up, no tours, no radio, no Oprah, no ads. And even if one does get those perks, it’s no guarantee that these things will create audience the way they once used to. Oprah, yes — anything else, it’s a roll of the dice. But writers have been taught to expect that these things will work. And when they don’t, the publishers suddenly offer less of an advance for the next book because the sell-through was low, and the writer scrambles to write the book faster because that’s another way to “get” that audience…. and here we go down the Death Spiral of the Midlist Writer.

Good luck finding an audience through publicity. People don’t want to hear some spin about your book. They want to know going in what to expect. That means a trustworthy recommendation (which could be a friend or a critic or 30 five-star reviews at amazon), or the ability to judge for themselves before they put their money down. And that means putting the work out there for them to find. Free fiction. Let them find work they like, and hope they like it well enough to begin supporting your ability to do more. That’s how it’s beginning to work in music these days, and I suspect fiction in particular is not far behind (I don’t know about nonfiction, I think that might be a whole different beastie… we’ll see.)

But as radical as the idea of separating writing and money — that writing is a path to an audience, and that maybe the audience is the path to the money — even more radical is the idea of fiction as work in progress. Harwood gets a chunk of the novel out there on podcast, gets some feedback, realizes he might want to make some changes… or he puts it out there knowing that the changes must be made, but wanting to keep to his schedule because he’s got an audience waiting. So he’ll come back and make those revisions later.

That borders on stark raving crazy talk for a lot of writers. Putting something out there before it’s finished, letting people comment on it, letting those comments maybe, I dunno, influence the work? Many will tell you that Real Writers don’t do that, that’s for screenwriters, poor bastards, who have no choice but to write to the demands of others. (And yes, there’s a whole post about screenwriting coming up one of these days, I swear).

But what if the definition of Real Writer is changing? What if it’s expanding to include the possibility that maybe an audience will bring you a big advance a lot sooner than a big advance will bring you an audience? Or that maybe there is no big advance, there’s only big audience and the small amounts of money they’re willing to pay individually to download your work or contribute to the PayPal tip jar on your website? What if some writers develop a here you go, what do you think, should I work on this idea? relationship with their readers, so there’s some kind of push-pull between the artist and audience?

I don’t know what will happen. I don’t even entirely know how I feel about the possibilities. But I do feel change, like a cool wind in late August that smells for an instant like burning leaves and makes you realize that autumn is coming.

Reality Break podcast interview

Head on over to Reality Break and listen to my 2007 interview with my good friend Dave Slusher. Our lengthy (47 minute) conversation ranges from the power of performance to competence in characters to the origins of the story Dangerous Space… I enjoyed doing it, and I hope you’ll enjoy hearing it.

I talk in the interview about how special it was for me to put together the collection and have the chance to consider years of work in a contained way. It turns out the same thing is true for me with this interview. Dave gave me the chance to talk about things I’ve been thinking about for a while, and to string together a number of different ideas and perspectives about my work into a single conversation. Very fun for me, and illuminating in ways I didn’t expect. Kind of like writing that way (grin).

Dave, thanks so much for the chance to be part of Reality Break. It was a genuine pleasure.

Do it like a pro

John August is a screenwriter (Go, Corpse Bride, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, The Nines and many more) and director (The Nines). (And he’s currently working on the Dark Shadows screenplay for Johnny Depp, an actor whom I would love to write for with pretty much every fiber of my being).

The tag line of John August’s blog is “a ton of useful information about screenwriting,” and he’s not kidding. If you’re interested in learning about screenwriting and the movie business, there are more than 900 articles on his site, as well as downloadable film and television treatments and scripts.

(Looks directly through the internet at John August). John, it’s really generous of you, and I’ve learned a lot. Thanks very much. (Internet camera off).

Here’s a speech that August gave in 2006, and I wish I’d seen it before I taught Clarion West last year: I would have made it required reading. I think every aspiring writer (and every established writer, every artist, oh-gosh-everyone who works for a living) ought to absorb it at the cellular level.

(The text is long, but not as long as it looks — it comes with 55 comments attached.)

The speech begins with a Hollywood story and then moves into a basic nuts-and-bolts primer of how to behave like a grownup in the working world. Maybe you already know how to do that. But if you are an aspiring writer or screenwriter — even if you are already a grownup in the workday ways — the meat of the matter comes at Thesis #3 and just gets better from there.

I’m adding this piece to my personal cupboard of Advice to Aspiring Writers, along with the talent of the room, taking criticism, and not being an asshole.

And sometime soon, I’ll be answering a talk to me question about my experience of screenwriting so far — but let me note here that I’m glad that I’ve played it like a pro even through the hard times. I can see clearly how much difference it’s made in the producers sticking with me through my learning curve.

SF/not follow-up

[Here’s a follow up to the original question from Barbara, no longer anonymous…]

P.S. I have read a good deal of your speculative fiction and was excited, moved and intrigued. I want you to know that I have read sf, horror and fantasy since I was a child, and I did not mean to imply in any way that science fiction is lesser fiction.

Barbara Sanchez


Gosh, no, I didn’t take it that way at all, and I hope my answer didn’t sound as though I did. I thought you were asking what we call in our house a “real question,” meaning one with no implied judgment or agenda. If I’d thought you were being snarky about science fiction, I would probably have answered very differently (smile), and you wouldn’t have got to see any work in progress, for sure.

It’s interesting putting up work that isn’t “finished”… A few years ago, I wouldn’t have: too much pride. That’s been pretty much hammered out of me (well, okay, not completely) by the screenwriting process, in which total strangers read work that I do in days and treat it exactly the same as work done in weeks or months. No quarter given. A real learning experience in very many ways.

When I was a beginning writer, I wanted everyone to love everything I did, because if they loved it, it must be good. And so the response became what I worked for, which is backwards and bullshit, but I didn’t have anyone to tell me that the point is to do the work so well, with such skill and focus and intention, that it will speak clearly to those who read it. And then they can judge for themselves whether it’s good for them or not.

The best thing a new writer can learn to do is open wide and take the criticism in. Learn to listen through the embarrassment, the anger and the defensiveness. Try to hear beyond what people say (because sometimes it’s badly expressed, or focused in the wrong place) and work instead to understand what they mean. Suffer and rage and bang your head against it long enough to finally learn a) how to write better and b) how to filter good criticism from crap criticism (because not everyone can actually help you make your work better, and some criticism really is crap).

Genuine, thought-out criticism is a gift, even when I decide that it’s not for me. It’s hard in this culture to criticize someone’s work. Criticism basically says that the artist has failed to achieve her goals (or to achieve the goals of the person offering the criticism, which may or may not be something I need to listen to…), and we don’t like hurting people’s feelings with the word failure. I have found this to be true even in Hollywood, where I had expected criticism delivered with little attention to the niceties… instead, I’ve found people being so careful of my feelings that I’ve started being explicit about the fact that I don’t take their comments personally unless they become personal. I will say, You can hurt my feelings by telling me I’m a crap writer. You won’t hurt my feelings by telling me that something in the script isn’t working for you.

Of course, sometimes that’s a lie. Every once in a while, I do get my feelings hurt or I do get pissed off. I do it in private and keep it to myself. Becoming defensive just doesn’t move things forward…

I am not a new writer by any stretch, but I’ve been a new screenwriter for a couple of years now, and have been crawling through this particular mud again, and so I’m very glad that I have already learned some of these lessons in fiction, where there aren’t so many people stirring the pot. If I’d gone through this screenplay thing for the first time in my 20’s, I probably would have run screaming. Now I just hang up the phone, give the entire state of California the finger if I need to, and get back to work.

And (trying now to return to some semblance of connection to the topic at hand) that’s why it’s okay now to share more of myself and my fiction at a less-than-seamless stage. I wouldn’t do it for something I was actively working on right now — but this is more a maybe-someday work, and I find that acknowledging its flaws doesn’t make me feel any less like a real writer. In fact, it makes me feel more like one.

DBAA, round 2

A couple of weeks ago I wrote about why it’s important not to be an asshole. And because sometimes the Universe provides its own object lessons, here’s another really good reason not to be an asshole, especially if you’re a writer: because the Writing Pond is really really small, and if you swim like an asshole, the Internet Will Ridicule You.

You can bet dollars to donuts that this person’s name is spreading among agents and editors faster than grease on a griddle (golly, I seem to find myself in a Southern mood today). If this person ever gets published, it’ll be a miracle. It really does matter how you behave, you know? People talk about it.

There is absolutely no percentage in behaving like this person did. Professional rejection happens all the time. Agents say no. Fiction editors and Hollywood script readers dismiss your months or years of work with no more than It’s not really right for us (if they’re having a polite day). If you do get published, critics and amazon reviewers and random bloggers say mean stuff about your writing and sometimes about you. It’s no fucking fun, precious, and we doesn’t like it, no. But if we’re smart, we never never never presses the send key on those special emails….