Crazy talk about writing

A couple of weeks ago I was ranting about the economics of traditional publishing. I mentioned a new day coming in which at least one major publisher is playing with a new model. And now along comes a writer named Seth Harwood whose path to publishing is much more 21st-century (You can hear a podcast or read a transcription of the interview at this link, it’s all on the same page at Booksquare).

I don’t know anything about Harwood or his work. What interests me about his experience to date is how much of a direct challenge it is to the traditional publishing model, and to cultural notions of what constitutes “success.” Harwood starts in one of the “right” literary places — the Iowa Writer’s Workshop — and ends up serializing novels in podcasts, novels that aren’t “finished” enough for the agents he sends them to, but that people out there hungry for story sure seem to enjoy well enough. And hey, now that there’s an audience, there’s also interest from a Real Live Publisher. Harwood’s book will be out next summer.

And was that the goal all along? Is the wacky interweb only a more circuitous path to the hallowed temple of traditional publishing? Of course it’ll work that way for some people, for some books. And the trade publishers will get all excited and make corporate decisions to circle the wagons around the rabbit hole of the internet, waiting for something interesting to pop out… and perhaps the publishers will be thinking, okey dokey, here’s the new model — instead of getting stuff from agents, we’ll get it from these here rabbit holes.

But somehow I don’t think it’s going to be that simple.

There are many lessons for new writers and established writers in Seth Harwood’s experience. One is the lesson that audience comes before money. If Harwood had been waiting to “make money” from an advance before he shared his work with people, he’d still be waiting, and you certainly wouldn’t be hearing about him from me today.

One mistake that many new writers make is to assume that the publisher takes care of finding the audience for one’s book. After all, isn’t that what publicity is for? Well, it’s a sweet thought, but no. Publicity for most books is an automated process: a copy of the book and press release is mailed to a well-established list of reviewers with a hopefully nice cover letter from a publicist (although I have seen some letters that would make you just want to put a fork in your eye if it were your book they were supposedly “promoting”). And that’s it. No follow-up, no tours, no radio, no Oprah, no ads. And even if one does get those perks, it’s no guarantee that these things will create audience the way they once used to. Oprah, yes — anything else, it’s a roll of the dice. But writers have been taught to expect that these things will work. And when they don’t, the publishers suddenly offer less of an advance for the next book because the sell-through was low, and the writer scrambles to write the book faster because that’s another way to “get” that audience…. and here we go down the Death Spiral of the Midlist Writer.

Good luck finding an audience through publicity. People don’t want to hear some spin about your book. They want to know going in what to expect. That means a trustworthy recommendation (which could be a friend or a critic or 30 five-star reviews at amazon), or the ability to judge for themselves before they put their money down. And that means putting the work out there for them to find. Free fiction. Let them find work they like, and hope they like it well enough to begin supporting your ability to do more. That’s how it’s beginning to work in music these days, and I suspect fiction in particular is not far behind (I don’t know about nonfiction, I think that might be a whole different beastie… we’ll see.)

But as radical as the idea of separating writing and money — that writing is a path to an audience, and that maybe the audience is the path to the money — even more radical is the idea of fiction as work in progress. Harwood gets a chunk of the novel out there on podcast, gets some feedback, realizes he might want to make some changes… or he puts it out there knowing that the changes must be made, but wanting to keep to his schedule because he’s got an audience waiting. So he’ll come back and make those revisions later.

That borders on stark raving crazy talk for a lot of writers. Putting something out there before it’s finished, letting people comment on it, letting those comments maybe, I dunno, influence the work? Many will tell you that Real Writers don’t do that, that’s for screenwriters, poor bastards, who have no choice but to write to the demands of others. (And yes, there’s a whole post about screenwriting coming up one of these days, I swear).

But what if the definition of Real Writer is changing? What if it’s expanding to include the possibility that maybe an audience will bring you a big advance a lot sooner than a big advance will bring you an audience? Or that maybe there is no big advance, there’s only big audience and the small amounts of money they’re willing to pay individually to download your work or contribute to the PayPal tip jar on your website? What if some writers develop a here you go, what do you think, should I work on this idea? relationship with their readers, so there’s some kind of push-pull between the artist and audience?

I don’t know what will happen. I don’t even entirely know how I feel about the possibilities. But I do feel change, like a cool wind in late August that smells for an instant like burning leaves and makes you realize that autumn is coming.

When they were boys

I’ve been listening to early U2 — the band’s first three albums have been remastered and re-released with B-sides and rarities, and it’s fun fun fun for a stone fan like me.

If you’ve listened to my Reality Break interview, you know I love any chance to witness art being made, to be a part of the moment when a human being makes that kind of meaning out of their heart and head and body, right in front of me. Almost as good is having a window into the artist’s response to their own work — it’s a different kind of jazz, the chance to watch the artist’s mind consider a part of themselves at some distance.

Here’s one of those chances: RollingStone.com posted a review of the re-issues, and Bono wandered over from whatever corner of the internet he’s currently in, and posted his own long and conversational response to the band’s first album, Boy.

Even if you’re not a stone U2 fan, perhaps you will enjoy watching the adult artist consider the boys who made Boy. For me there is something powerfully compelling about this fond and amused and in some ways ruthless assessment of one’s own work.

And then there’s this:

For us music was a sacrament …an even more demanding and sometimes more demeaning thing than music as ART, we wanted to make a music to take you in and out of your body, out of your comfort zone, out of your self, as well as your bedroom, a music that finds you looking under your bed for God to protect your innocence…
 
— Bono on RollingStone.com

This is why I love these guys whom I call my Irish brothers. Because in this way, we want the same things.

So here’s a song — “Tomorrow,” actually from October, the second album, but this is the song that’s taking me to the river today, the sacramental ecstatic song. Enjoy.

U2, “Tomorrow” from October, 1981

When you you are jadeando

Most spam comments are pretty straightforward (sex sex sex sex nasty sex sex!). But every once in a while they get strangely creative. So today’s medal of honor for spam comment wackness goes to:

When I have left the fine girl on heart it was very bad, even would visit thoughts on that what to leave in other world, did not know, that to me to do further without it. But I was helped by the Internet, I long wandered on it and on eyes one site which has cheered at once me up and all has got to me as that by itself has seen reason, can and still to someone will help [Kelley’s note: followed here by the url of a porn website… ]
 
— a spam comment recently left in my comment queue

Is it just me, or is this oddly… hypnotic? Do you glimpse, as I do, some mad story peering through the cracks in that tangled string of words? Or is it just that had I too much wine last night and not enough tea so far this morning? Hmm, that might be it…

Perhaps it is because I am a storyteller that I insist on trying to find meaning in, well, everything, even some jumbled babel fish words. Of course automated translations are pretty unsuccessful — translation and interpretation are not simple word-for-word exchanges, that’s not how language works.

I remember being absolutely gobsmacked as a child to learn that some languages didn’t have words for things we have words for in English. I had always assumed that languages all had the same number and type of words in them, but that those Other People’s words were funny-sounding and spelled weird. My native language was so engrained into me at the molecular level that I literally couldn’t understand that other languages were differently structured, used different grammar, defined the world in fundamentally different ways.

The day I finally, really got it, it felt like the top of my head turned inside out. I felt that again thirty years later, learning American Sign Language with its spatial grammar and ability to particularize classifiers to meet a variety of needs, rather than having “a sign for every English word.” We drove our teachers nuts the first year or so asking What’s the sign for crimson? What’s the sign for trapeze? What’s the sign for mansion? while the patient look glazed over their faces and they tried once again to make us understand that it’s not like English.

Language is not a vehicle. It’s not like driving on the left versus driving on the right, where the whole experience is really weird but underneath it all the cars all work the same way. It’s not like a currency exchange, where you give dollars and get back lira… we should never assume that there’s equivalency in our different languages, that everyone has some word that means the exact same thing to them that our word means to us. Language is… so much more. How fascinating to see human experience through the lenses of different languages and therefore different meanings, different shadings, different worlds…

Fortunately, Babel Fish is not the only option these days. I use a site I really enjoy, WordReference.com, which I like because it’s a dictionary site, not a translation site. But translations are available — it’s just that you have to dip into the forums and interact with a human being to get them. And WordReference keeps a database of phrases, etc. so that you can see how the word you’ve looked up is actually used, and you can see equivalencies rather than literal translations. It’s a wonderful window into how languages actually work, the apples and oranges of it all.

I used Babel Fish to translate one of my favorite paragraphs of “Dangerous Space” into Spanish, and then back into English.

But the night. Music. The pulls of the house with people; the air is heavy with its anticipation, its alcohol and the musk, the human atmospheric disturbances of its conversations that hit. When the technology of the guitar warms up, when fixed mics, people watches to us with a directness that it never would demonstrate in the street, as if she could raise in our lives if she watches fixedly only hardly enough. We are foreplay; we walk the stage like the models of the channel, horses of races, arrogant and kind expert and, and slightly rubbed its anticipation with each movement that we do. And when you are ready, when you you are jadeando for him, the bandage comes to you with the hands of music and it touches with heat and hope and joy to him, with all they know of being human, and is so great you cannot contain it everything: sing you it and again dance and shout them. And then they give more him. Forwards and backwards, forwards and backwards. Ecstasy.
 
— Babel Fish translation of “Dangerous Space”, English to Spanish to English

It has its own mad beauty in places, no? But it’s not the same. All props to the literary translators of the world, the human beings who with their skills make stories into something more than converted words, who translate meaning in meaningful ways. And to the interpreters who build bridges between us by finding ways to make meaning clear when it seems sometimes that our languages are no more than mud between us, something sticky that we cannot see through to find each other.

2007 Nicola interview

Word just in that KUOW (a Seattle NPR affiliate station) will re-broadcast Nicola’s 2007 interview about self-defense and Always. The interview airs as part of the Sound Focus program on Tuesday 5 August, 2 PM – 3 PM Pacific Time.

You can listen live online or (I believe) download a podcast after the show.

It’s a good interview (well, I would say that, wouldn’t I? But it’s true!)

Monday morning at the oasis

Confession time: I’m a rock ‘n’ roll woman with a great big soft spot in my gooey gooey heart for 70’s and 80’s pop music.

I started listening to the radio when I was a kid. There was always music on the record player in our house (yes, vinyl, kids, I’m that old…) — James Taylor, Livingston Taylor, Jose Feliciano, Carole King, Neil Diamond, Cream… I don’t remember when I first realized that I liked some of it better than others, that I had preferences. And then I discovered pop radio, and that was me gone. I fell stone in love with The Moody Blues, the Captain and Tennille, Elton John, Blue Oyster Cult, the Five Man Electric Band. I would lay awake in bed at night sometimes and just… listen to Voices from The World Out There.

One of the best presents my folks ever gave me was a cube-shaped AM radio (made of white and red plastic) that mounted to my bike handlebars, so I could ride around the neighborhood singing along at the top of my lungs and terrorizing the neighbors. Now I have a car with windows that roll up, so it’s easier on those around me — but I still love to sing along to that music.

And for whatever reason, today I’m thinking of Maria Muldaur. Because honestly, what could be better to start off a Monday than romance in the desert? And I’m still a sucker for anything that sounds like there ought to be a bellydancer.

Enjoy.

Dandelion Wine

Dandelion Wine is a summer book, every word is rich with summer-ness like ice cream and hot sun, and soft heavy evenings full of tree frogs and parents laughing quietly in the other room and screen doors slamming in the distance.

I first read it in high school, and it didn’t really speak to me. It wasn’t weird enough, and the boy in the book was too young for me to care about, and it was set in 1928 — you may imagine the roll of teenage eyes, god, that was like a thousand years ago

I was in my 30’s before I understood the deep richness of this book, the joy and the sadness and the absolute brilliance with which Bradbury captures a summer that I never had and yet remember so well. Summer as a state of mind. Summer as a collection of moments out of usual time in which we may, if we choose, live slow and do mundane things and find at bedtime that it has been one of the richest days…

We’ve had very unsatisfactory weather in Seattle these last couple weeks, restless laughing autumn weather that I love, but am not yet ready for. But we are promised summer again this week, and although outside my window it’s hazy and 50 degrees, I see sun and hints of blue sky behind the gray smoke. And today, when the sun comes out (and I know it will, I know), I will stretch out in it with iced tea and Dandelion Wine and remember what it’s like when everything in one’s world is exciting and new and so full of possibility. I’ll remember that from my little deck, a place familiar and known and not so much about possibility as it is about perspective and the considered choice to throw myself into things or not, to be new or not, to sit in the sun or go inside. Because I’m no longer twelve, and I need my twelve-year-old summer days more than ever.

In the first eight pages of the book, Douglas Spaulding, age 12, is out in the woods with his father and younger brother Tom. Doug and Tom are wrestling. And Douglas discovers something amazing:

And at last, slowly, afraid he would find nothing, Douglas opened one eye.
 
And everything, absolutely everything, was there.
 
The world, like a great iris of an even more gigantic eye, which has also just opened and stretched out to encompass everything, stared back at him.
 
And he knew what it was that had leaped upon him to stay and would not run away now.
 
I’m alive, he thought.
 
[…]
 
The grass whispered under his body. He put his arm down, feeling the sheath of fuzz on it, and, far away, below, his toes creaking in his shoes. The wind sighed over his shelled ears. The world slipped bright over the glassy round of his eyeballs like images sparked in a crystal sphere. Flowers were sun and fiery spots of sky strewn through the vast inverted pond of heaven. His breath raked over his teeth, going in ice, coming out fire. Insects shocked the air with electric clearness. Ten thousand individual hairs grew a millionth of an inch on his head. He heard the twin hearts beating in each ear, the third heart beating in his throat, the two hearts throbbing in his wrists, the real heart pounding in his chest. The million pores on his body opened.
 
I’m really alive! he thought. I never knew it before, or if I did I don’t remember!
 
He yelled it loud but silent, a dozen times! Think of it, think of it! Twelve years old and only now! Now discovering this rare timepiece, this clock gold-bright and guaranteed to run threescore and ten, left under a tree and found while wrestling.
 
“Doug, you okay?”
 
Douglas yelled, grabbed Tom, and rolled.
 
“Doug, you’re crazy!”
 
“Crazy!”
 
They spilled downhill, the sun in their mouths, in their eyes like shattered lemon glass, gasping like trout thrown out on a bank, laughing till they cried.
 
“Doug, you’re not mad?”
 
“No, no, no, no, no!”
 
Douglas, eyes shut, saw spotted leopards pad in the dark.
 
“Tom!” Then, quieter. “Tom… does everyone in the world… know he’s alive?”
 
“Sure. Heck, yes!”
 
The leopards trotted soundlessly off through darker lands where eyeballs could not turn to follow.
 
“I hope they do,” whispered Douglas. “Oh, I sure hope they know.”
 
from Dandelion Wine by Ray Bradbury

May you be happy

Spiritual beliefs can be hard to talk about these days. I don’t mean religion — in fact, I think that religion and spirituality are in many ways farther apart in our culture than perhaps any time since organized religion began. Sweeping statement, I know, and I’m prepared to be told I’m wrong since I am not myself religious, and so have little direct daily experience of how it’s working these days.

I was raised in the Episcopal church. I was the youngest person in our parish to be confirmed in the church. For non-Christians, that means I went to a series of classes to learn about Jesus and scripture, and to understand how mass worked and what it meant to say all those things to god — to be in communion with god. And then when a confirmation class graduates, there is a special Sunday worship service where the priest blesses you and welcomes you as fully practicing members into the church, and then you are allowed to receive communion (wafers and real wine for the Anglicans, thank you very much).

So there I was, Kelley Over-Achieving Eskridge, taking communion when I was eight and feeling pretty much okay with god. Then something happened.

My parents ran the EYC (Episcopal Youth… hmmm, Coalition, maybe?) — the youth group (teenagers) at the church. This was the late 60’s/early 70’s in Tampa, Florida, where we lived in an uneasy tension of cultural change — southern racism struggling with a determined and fairly effective civil rights activist movement, a growing awareness that the Viet Nam war was maybe not such a good idea, the reinstitution of the draft in 1969, the growing hippie culture. All of that was reflected in the kids in the EYC. They got drafted, or their brothers did. They did drugs. They marched.

And they decided to get involved with our church’s sister church in Jamaica. They did a lot to help the church in Jamaica. And eventually, they had about a million bake sales and car washes, and raised money for a trip to visit. I didn’t get to go, but my folks and the EYC kids came back transported by the loving reception they’d found, and the adventures they’d had discovering a new culture. So they had another million bake sales and car washes, and raised enough money to bring the priest, his family, and a bunch of the parish kids to Florida.

And when Father Macmillan arrived, full of joy and peace and eager to establish closer ties with our church, our rector refused to allow him to serve communion mass because Father Macmillan was black.

My parents left the EYC and the parish. And that was when I began to leave god. I am no longer religious. I do have spiritual beliefs, which I’ll keep to myself because I actually do think such things are private — a topic for conversation between people who are close, but not to be offered up in a blog post on a Saturday morning. What I do want to offer up is my experience that the older I get, the more I find myself and others willing to talk about notions of love, of acceptance, of tolerance, of humanizing others (rather than dehumanizing them), in ways that are not connected to religious practice. We are more willing to acknowledge that we’ve felt, for an expansive bright moment, that all people really are human, that we’re all connected somehow to each other and that perhaps that’s a good enough starting place, without the rules and rigidity.

So in that spirit, here’s a thing to share. My friend Karen went to a meditation workshop by this woman and told me about the mediation mantra that they used, which is intended to extend lovingkindness toward oneself and others. I don’t meditate, but I see great value in these words and so I offer them to you:

May you be happy.
May you be safe.
May you be peaceful.
May you live with ease.

That’s my wish for all people today. I will continue to struggle with all the ways that I find to distance myself from other people — irritation, intolerance, anger, disappointment, fear, self-asborption. But this morning I feel that expansive bright moment of connection, and I wish us all well.

Friday pint

Nicola has recently instituted Friday audio over at Ask Nicola. She has an extensive audio archive, and every Friday she puts up a new file (I originally wrote that as throws up a new file, but hmm, that just didn’t look right, grin). I think this is a Most Sensible Idea, this little note of regularity in the ongoing rambling melody of blogging, and I am stealing it.

But not audio. Nope, just words words words. My previous website included the Virtual Pint section, which was my blog of sorts before I got all grownup with WordPress. Here’s how I described it:

One of my favorite things in life is to eat, drink and talk with interesting people. Share stories. Give and receive. Connecting in this way is one of the best things I know, an ongoing joy.
 
I’m looking for ways to make connections with people who read my work. The best start, of course, is through the work itself. A website is a good support to that, but it’s all pretty much a one-way conversation — a bit like shopping, where I put something on the shelf, and later you come along and pick it up, look at it, put it back or maybe drop it in your basket. That’s connection at a distance: it’s not bad, but it’s not everything. I’d like more.
 
Does this mean I want to become personally acquainted with everyone who reads my work? Well, no. That’s too close a connection for me. Please don’t call me up for a long intimate chat just because we’ve shared a virtual beer or two. I’m not inviting you into my life, but I am inviting you into some parts of my head that you can’t enter just by reading the fiction. I have always wanted the kind of access to my favorite artists that allows connection without imposition, a shared recognition of mutual experience, an understanding that doesn’t involve everyone having to cuddle up together. We’re all human: we all have things to communicate. So that’s what I’m hoping we’ll do here.
 
I imagine Virtual Pint as an endless evening in a comfortable pub, with a fire just close enough to keep us warm and a table big enough for everyone. It’s our chance to tell stories, ask and answer questions, rant, muse, laugh. Let’s connect. If you’re interested, come on in.

Virtual Pint was driven completely by readers — people sent in questions or comments about anything, and I responded.

I’ve been working to transfer the Virtual Pint entries to this new incarnation of the site. I’ve posted a few groups of VPs in loose thematic groups, but there’s still a huge backlog. So now there will be a system. I’m going to begin at the beginning and work forward. Every Friday, I’ll post one or two Virtual Pint entries. Since they are backdated, I’ll do a brief announcement/teaser and then link to the backdated post(s).

VP goes back to 2002, and there are a lot of conversations, ideas, thoughts, feelings, perspective… I want that continuity, and I hope that some of you may enjoy these snapshots of where I was as a writer and person.

If you find yourself enjoying the Pints — well, the name has changed, but the theory still applies. You’re welcome to start a conversation anytime about pretty much anything.

And here we go with the first two Virtual Pints evah! Cheers.