In my life, and my work, gender is many things — a gauntlet, a playground, a stage, a sex toy, a vulnerability, a power, an expectation, and a wide open space. I’ve done things that women aren’t “supposed” to do, and been told I’m either more or less of a woman for doing them. I have at various times either (or both) accepted and resisted gender expectations. I’ve done my share of boundary pushing.
But I’ve never had to be this brave.
There are billions of ways to be human. Here’s one. Good for these people. I hope they raise a beautiful little girl.
Humans never fail to disappoint. Not the couple concerned—brave, yes, but to my way of thinking they shouldn’t have to be brave—but the so-called “professionals” who can’t cope. I have often thought I have a blank spot where such reactions ought to be. My reaction upon reading about their decision was an automatic “Cool!” But then the follow-up….
I’m getting to the point in my life where I just shake my head and wonder what the point of all that high-priced education was if, along with all the technique taught, these people still can’t get around being apes in trees that will kill or expel anything “different.”
And what’s the problem? Alternate biologies have been around a long, long time. Sure, they aren’t much discussed, but they aren’t much discussed the way so-called “normal” sex isn’t discussed.
I would wager, that supporting the thoughtless insensitivity, is also a major financial consideration, namely INSURANCE. As in, “if anything goes wrong here, does my (the doctor’s) malpractice insurance cover this? And does any patient insurance policy cover this?” These folks are fairly well-off apparently, but what about people who aren’t?
Sad that the Hypocratic Oath can be so easily compromised by monetary considerations, but it happens all the time.
But. Bully for them. My reaction is still “Cool.”
You’re absolutely right, they shouldn’t have to be brave.
Wouldn’t it be great if we taught our kids from kindergarten onward how to parse differences, including our own, in ways that helped us understand when to be afraid? As opposed to the default of being always frightened of difference, always defensive.
I want the world to be big enough for people, not so small that most of us don’t fit.
Wow. I hope they have a beautiful girl as well. When you look at people who are willing to do anything to have children, and you look at those who have children and discard them, treat them badly, it makes you wonder. Why do people who are so wanting to cherish human life having such a hard time being able to DO just that. I wish them all the luck in the world.
being a man, i only can envy him, just as i envied my wife while she was pregnant. i wish i had that opportunity myself. all the luck and a happy life to the whole family!
Nicola has let me know that Oprah will interview Thomas Beattie. The Huffington Post reports that the interview will be this Thursday, and there will also be an interview at some point in People magazine.
I hope that works out for them. I suppose it’s inevitable that the story will go widely public, but now they are going to have to be brave-squared — they’ll suffer the prejudice of people they’ve never even met, as well as that which they already deal with in their daily lives.
It’s his choice, and I do wish them well. But I don’t know if I’d do Oprah. I see the benefit of making oneself real to people — it’s a lot harder for most of us to demonize people when they seem real to us in some way. But the loss of privacy would be terribly hard for me. I know pregnancy is “public” in the sense that it’s visible, but it’s still a private matter.
Hmm. What would any of you do?
truth to tell, i think i’ll do it. although i kind of hate oprah’s show. but i’d be happy to show my pride in front of all her audience. as for other people’s prejudices against me and my family… as long as i’m doing no harm to anyone, i could care no less.