I understand not wanting to do it, whatever “it” is — learning to use a taser, learning to take photographs, learning to write. Starting out, screwing up, sucking it up and going back again (and again, and again) is hard. But I am no longer patient with people who actually let that stop them.

I am sure that part of my impatience comes from the fact that I let it stop me for many years.

It’s part of growing up, I guess, at least it has been for me. And on some level, I just want to hang with grownups these days, you know?

So no pink taser for me.

For several years I worked retail in a photo shop, and I came to recognize a particular type of wannabe photographer. This was the person who spent a great deal of money on the Next Neat Gadget, as if the new lens, the new light meter, the new film, whatever, would magically make him or her the photographer they wanted to be. When I told them that what they really needed to do was to go shoot a lot of film, print a lot of pictures, and pay attention to how they saw things—you know, practice?—-and that the tools wouldn’t do the job for them, they would more often than not get profoundly depressed. I think deep down they either knew or thought they had no natural talent. But they had money, and there were gadgets they could buy that would do this and that and maybe they didn’t need talent…

As a kid, I was thoroughly picked on by bullies. I asked my dad—who had taught hand-to-hand combat in the army—to teach me to fight. The first thing he did was to try to show me how to fall. I didn’t want that. I was trying to avoid that, frankly, and this made no sense to me. But, he said, if you don’t know how to fall, you can’t learn the rest. Furthermore, in a fight, you have to recognize that you’re going to get hurt. Because my desire was to learn a gimmick that would prevent me from getting hurt, I put off learning from him for a few more years. I wanted the magic gimmick. With that, I wouldn’t be at risk.

Wrong.

I grew up with guns. I learned early how to use them. I do not own one now. Why? Because I don’t have the time to become proficient and I feel it’s useless to own one unless you’re willing and able to learn how to use it.

Tasers, as Nicola observes, are psychological safety blankets. And about as effective if the owner is unwilling to learn how to use it. Which means…well, she nailed it.

Welcome to the dance around the legal system.